When it comes to bachelor parties, I believe unfamiliarity is the best policy.
Them: So where is the Cowboy this weekend?
Them: Really? Cool. Where in Montana?
Me: Somewhere with a bar?
Them: So what was he planning to do there?
Me: Consume beverages, I suppose.
Them: So who did he go with?
Me: Not sure, but he took a 14-passenger van.
Them: When's he coming back?
Me: Look, it's a bachelor party. I prefer to believe that this weekend's events didn't occur until they're over. All I ask is a text every day so I know he isn't dead.
It’s us, but in dead animal form. But not really dead because they weren’t ever alive. Undead? No. That makes them sound like vampires. So not that. Fuck. I don’t know the word. Hey, how long can a title be? Because this seems excessive. Someone should stop me. Jesus. This is as bad as 280-character twitter. - Victor is finally home from Japan and I didn’t set the house on fire or eat any of our pets while he was gone. Yay for the small things! He always comes b...
5 hours ago