Friday, May 14, 2010

I'll be smarter about the garter

So, which colors we're you thinking for the tuxedo? the nice tuxedo-designer gal who also works with me at the paper asked the Cowboy.

We'll call her: E. :)

GREEN! I said, like she'd asked what color grass was. Obviously.

Ok, what type of suit? One-button, Two-button? she said, pointing to pictures in a catalog and looking to the Cowboy for approval.

One button, I said, in a classic shape. No top hats, walking canes or tails, I said. Just simple and elegant.

E looked to Cowboy. Is that OK?

Um, yeah, he said. I guess so.

So she showed us three.

Immediately I vetoed the one with collar resembling the cape of a vampire. He vetoed the narrow, rounded one that reminded me of Jimmy Stewart and Clark Gable.

So this third one? E said.

Um, yeah, Cowboy said. I guess so.

He tried the jacket on over his work t-shirt and Wrangler jeans, paired with shoes stained with drywall.

We should dress you up more often, I said.

Do you think this would match my cowboy hat? he said.

Ok, E interrupted with perfect timing, vest colors to chose from: olive? or one with a shade of teal?

TEAL! I said without thinking, ignoring Cowboy's fixation on the primary choice.

Unless... you really want the olive one... I said.

Um yeah, teal, he said, I guess so.

And do you want the ushers the same as the groomsmen and the dads? E asked. And the groomsmen the same as the ushers?

YES! I said. All green. I mean... what do you think Cowboy?

Um yeah, he said, sighing. I guess so. Why did you bring me along?

I'm sorry, I said. I just really like the colors. The more green the merrier, right?

And sometimes the groom wears a black vest with the same tie as the groomsmen, E said. Or all white, just to stand out. Do you want something like that?

GREEN, I said. He looks good in green. I mean... if that's alright with you, Cowboy.

He sighed. Um yeah, I guess so, he said, looking at me and shaking his head.

I mean... do whatever you want. I don't have to decide everything, I said.

No, no. It's fine. I'm sure it will look great, he said, opening a bridal party gift catalog and turning the page.

I felt almost as guilty as when I spilled nail-polish remover on the cherry-colored bedroom furniture my parents bought me. I mean, what? that stain was totally like that, mom.

I had to make it up to him. Had to give him something he wanted.... the cowboy hat? No. The boots? No. The antler adornments? I'd sooner die.

Why don't you pick out my garter, I said. Anything you want. Our colors are black, GREEN and silver but you could pick... I don't know... pink or something.

Ok... he responded, suddenly interested and rifling through the glossy pages.

And internet, this is what he chose:




What? Cowboy said. It's green....

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